More Oreo in Review

I like Oreos.

When Oreo Double Stuff was introduced, adrenaline coursed through my eight-year-old veins. When I learned that US Oreo fans have access to dozens of flavours that are not stocked on Canadian shelves, I was moved to write a letter to Mr. Christie himself. Sadly, I have not heard back from Mr. Christie nor an Oreo representative. I’d settle for a tweet.

Bubble wrapped to maintain cookie integrity
Bubble wrapped to maintain cookie integrity

Don’t worry, this has not stopped me from trying those cookie sandwich treats. Once friends caught wind of this injustice, packages of Oreos started flooding in. Some arrived via friends who had travelled across the border, while others were sent from new friends living in the states who shared my love of chocolate wafers hugging sweet filling. It was almost hard to keep up, but I managed and shared my thoughts on these exclusive-to-America cookies.

When Mr. Christie rolls out a new flavour, my twitter notifications start pinging. My inbox houses numerous pictures of Gingerbread Oreos, links to Fried Chicken Oreo (please tell me that’s a joke), and offers to pick up not-yet-tried varieties on an upcoming trip. Christmas brought me a special delivery of White Fudge Oreo. Recently, Red Velvet Oreos were launched and only a few weeks later, a package of them arrived in my mailbox. So this is a thing and it shows no sign of stopping.

My last review was one year ago, so it’s high time I updated with all the flavours we have tried within the past twelve months.

Coconut Fudge Cream Oreos 

Technically not a sandwich cookie, but who cares?
Technically not a sandwich cookie, but who cares?

These were a birthday gift and they delivered. My only negative criticism is that the package is deceptive. Although it looks like a regular size package of Oreos, they house this variety in a special plastic tray (likely to prevent them sticking together, but you won’t eat just one anyways, unless you’re a robot, or my husband). You only end up getting about half the amount of cookies.

I stand behind my decision to eat them alone in my locked bedroom. There is no point wasting fancy cookies on small children.

Rating: 5 out of 5 cups of coffee (and yes, they pair nicely with a cup of Joe).

Banana Split

Allegedly amazing
Allegedly amazing

Dropped off unexpectedly by a friend last summer, these were a huge hit with the children of the house. I maybe had one, the rest vanished while we were poolside. Even the son who detests bananas deemed this flavour “highly acceptable”.

Rating: probably a 4, can’t say for sure

White Fudge

Yes, please
Yes, please

Ho! Ho! Hold the phone! Even if you don’t like white chocolate, you will love these. Yes, you will. But you’ll have to wait until next Christmas or never, if you live in the Great White North (ahem, Nabisco Canada). These were a pleasant surprise included with a Christmas card from friends made via the internet. I have to learn not to open these packages in front of the boys because they get all “you always say we have to share”.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Red Velvet 

I'm a believer
I’m a believer

I admit, I had my doubts about this one since Red Velvet in general makes me punchy (I just don’t understand, Red Dye 40). The filling has a hint of cream cheese which contrasts well with the lighter chocolate taste of the cookie. Pairs well with apple juice, milk, coffee, okay, okay – anything. It pairs well with anything, especially more Oreos. This flavour was a very pleasant surprise and one I begrudingly shared with my offspring and few close friends. If you got one, you know I like you.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Dishonourable Mentions:

Gingerbread: meh.

Everyone has Oreo hiding spot, right? Well you should.
Everyone has Oreo hiding spot, right? Well you should.

Pumpkin Spice: yes, it tasted like a Yankee Candle.

Caramel Apple: also resembled a candle.

Candy Corn: still a firm no.

______

Not sure if you should indulge in your next Oreo? I’m here to help with a useful Oreo Flowchart. 

Dear Mr. Christie

These are nice, but not a novel flavour.
These are nice, but not a novel flavour.

Mr. Christie, you make good cookies.

Oreo® and Chips Ahoy®, Fudgee-O® and Teddy Grahams® are all so delicious. They taste so good we’ll forgive you for your lapse in judgement when you came up with Belvita®. But Mr. Christie, you don’t seem to like to share. Or you play favourites, I’m not sure which. I do know that the USA has many, many more delectable editions of your famous cookies than we do up here in Canada.

Sure, you’ve given us Double Stuff Oreos  and soft bake Chips Ahoy and we thank you (even though we got them much later than our southern neighbours). I’d also like to say thanks for passing along the recipe for mint Oreos and double Fudgee-Os. Halloween Oreos are a nice token you toss our way, so there’s that.

Recently, through the power of the internet, I discovered that we are missing out in the Great White North. What’s up, Mr. C.? Raspberry Oreos, Chocolate Covered Oreos, Peanut Butter Oreos, must I go on? Okay, I will. Cookie Dough Oreos? What has Canada done to be left out of these special treats?

Did you date a Canadian and it ended badly?

Have you not heard about the Fair Trade Agreement? We signed that thing back in 1987.

You know we can see your commercials up here, right? We know about these cookies, Mr. Christie. We know.

Are you afraid of maple of syrup?

Does poutine make you anxious?

Are we not worthy of cookie dough bundled between chocolate wafers? If you cut us, do we not bleed?

Who hurt you, Mr. Christie?

My kind (and favourite) sister sent me some of these novel cookies and now that we’ve tried them, there is no going back. Please, Mr. Christie, in the name of all that’s Nabisco®, send them to Canada. Or the very least, send them to me.

My passion is real.