Picture it. My living room, mid-winter, a playdate with a few girl friends and their preschoolers. I was on a maternity leave with our fourth baby and needed to vent.
“Four boys. Are they all yours?
Wow. FOUR boys – you must be busy.
You know, I’m getting a little tired of being asked that. What? Since I have all boys they must be holy terrors that run me ragged? I don’t think I like the implication that having male offspring automatically means I live in a zoo. Humph, I bet if I had a mix of boys and girls I wouldn’t get asked that. I bet if I had ALL GIRLS no one would say that to me. Sure, I have temporarily misplaced a son in grocery store. And there was that time that I couldn’t find one of them in the library, but that’s because they are little, not because I have too many or that they are boys.
When strangers gawk in disbelief that I can smile while carting my four young sons around, I feel defensive. THESE ARE GOOD CHILDREN. They don’t run out into traffic, they haven’t broken any bones (yet. There was that gash to the head during a game of Naked Run, but come on, every kid does that).
I’m not some freak show that people can just come up to me and comment on my procreation. I WON’T BE YOUR DANCING MONKEY.”
My friend slowly sipped her coffee, placed her mug down and calmly asked, “well are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Are you busy?”
I pondered this question for a few seconds, lowered my eyes and quietly answered, “Yes.”
“So, maybe they are just honouring that fact and in a round-about way giving you a pat on the back.”
“Yeah, well… MAYBE YOU ARE RIGHT.”
——-
This is why we need friends, people. To talk you down from the ledge, to tell you that your sweater is looking a little frumpy, that your eyebrows need attending, that your house is “clean enough”, and that maybe, sometimes you need to just settle down, Crazy.
Tough Bananas 
Hubs and I just got back from a long weekend with a family of four (two parents, one toddler, and one newborn), and it seems like those parents do little else but feed kids and change diapers. I know not all your kids are in diapers, but nevertheless, I can’t imagine doubling that amount of feeding and crying and cleaning and changing.
“Let’s never had kids,” I said to Hubs after I stumbled out of the back of the minivan on Sunday afternoon. It was sort of a joke, since we are currently three months pregnant. He responded with, “What have we done?!”
Hats off to you, Jan. I don’t know how anyone manages four kids, whatever their gender.
(and I should mention, this toddler was very well-behaved, and the newborn was not particularly fussy.)
First, congratulations! Second, thanks.
I come from a family of four (three boys and our Boss). I don’t know how my folks did it. I don’t know how you do it.
Mostly chocolate. Lots of it. In secret.
I admit, life in our house with 4 boys is a zoo. Life is crazy for me because the boys have an unquenchable energy and two are adorned with attitude to match. I usually preempt people’s comments when they ask with, “We have four boys and it keeps me busy!” I guess that’s my silent plea for a little grace when my one son in particular acts out in a big way. I am not really encouraged by comments like, “I’m glad its not me” or “You wanted four kids …” . Really, I am trying my best. I have learned take advice with a grain of salt from grandparents who live in Virginia or friends with straight A honours girls. I love my boys and l am honoured God trusted me to be their mom … but life is crazy!
I hear you. Often I respond with, “yes, all mine and I love it.” * big grin*
I have 5 kids. If i take all of them with me to the store people stare and always we get the comment, “Wow, you have your hands full!”
People are the worst.
Mostly i laugh, but sometimes i say, “yes, but my heart is pretty full also!”
I have 2 girls and 2 boys. It’s busy no matter the gender. Rather than “you must be busy”…I get a lot of…”I don’t know how you do it!”
My two canned responses, depending on my mood…
1)Me neither. Some days are better than others, but most are just a blur.
or
2)I’m pretty perfect, so 4 is not that big of a deal for me.
Either one’ll shut ’em down.
Excellent. Might use #2.
Wait, you have FOUR BOYS?
We have met before, Michelle.
LOL! I just wanted to get in on the fun. 😉
Ahhh…i was thinking, “she knows my whole story, did I somehow forget to mention it?”