Busses, airplanes, trains, emergency vehicles, hot air balloons – anything that can move in a big way catches our boys’ interest. So going on a train ride was a huge deal. Almost as significant as our bus trip earlier this fall.
Little was beside himself with excitement and insisted he wear his Thomas back pack. Going on a “TRAIN! TRAIN! YEAH, MOMMY!” was almost more than he could handle. I admit that I was pretty pumped, too. Now I was going to see what all this Thomas fuss was really about. We’ve had no less than four Thomas-themed birthday parties and so many Thomas-related toys around here that I already felt like quite an expert, but one can always expand one’s horizons.
It’s true that you really learn best by experiencing and doing. And you know what I learned? Thomas, Sodor, Sir Topham Hatt, and all those other engines are a total hoax.
I was a bit disappointed when we boarded that, first of all, we were on a diesel engine (we all know diesels are bad news) and second, that none of the trains spoke to me. I thought maybe we just had to wait to get to our magical destination, so I sat back on my vinyl seat to enjoy the ride. But, no, the deception continued on for the rest of the trip.
Hey, this is not Shake Shake Bridge! This is just an underpass.
No competition about who is the most Useful Engine and gets to take all of us to the Farmer’s Market?
Aside from myself, not once did I hear:
“Fizzling Fireboxes!”
“Bust my buffers!”
“Oh, the indignity!”
What’s up Rev. Awdry? You promised us talking engines. Engines who are friends. Engines who strive to chug the fastest, to stay shiny and clean, who cherish a fresh coat of paint. THIS WAS NOT DELIVERED.
Oh, sure we had a great time. The boys did not seem disappointed by the lack of eyeballs on the front of the trains and cars. I think I was the only one looking for Cranky the Crane.
The train ride was fun and we got to see a lot of nice local sites. But I was holding out hope to see some real-life train animation. And none of the conductors or staff looked even a little bit like Sir Topham Hatt (maybe that should have been my first clue).
My one consolation was that there was a bit of Confusion and Delay. But that was mostly caused by Biggest and his issue with choosing pants. Not exactly magical. Not at all. I get to see that every other morning.
Thanks for nothing, Reverend.
Tough Bananas 
I assume there was no swimming, either?
😦
That’s what I thought.