My 5 Rules for Canadian Kids in Winter

It’s January in Canada, so it’s cold. Really cold. However, it’s nothing we can’t handle. We may be overly polite and apologetic, but we are a hearty people. If your snot doesn’t freeze inside your nostrils, it’s cold but not really cold. If your breath doesn’t crystalize on your scarf when you exit your house, toughen up – you are Canadian.

Travelling anywhere in winter with small children in tow requires a minimum of 12 extra minutes prep time (I’ve done extensive research on this, trust me). If you are running late, it will take them 27 minutes because science. And so, I present to you…

My Five Rules for Canadian Kids in Winter

1. Layer. Two pairs of socks, extra mittens. We all know it feels bunchy, just do it.

Fashionable AND warm
Fashionable AND warm

2. Wet mitts won’t dry in a bin. They go on the dryer – every time. Remember? The dryer? Any good Canadian household will have the standard minimum of two such contraptions.

The house will still smell like wet dog, but for a shorter duration.
The house will still smell like wet dog, but for a shorter duration.

3. Shut the door. All the way. Right away. JUST SHUT THE DOOR.

4. Tiny mittens that stretch when you put them on are not really mittens. Real mittens impede all fine motor skills. They also prevent frost bite. Hold still while I tie your scarf tighter to muffle your complaints.

5. Put on your snow pants. Forget that, just put on any snow pants. No argument, no excuses. We all agree that they hinder movement, but they also prevent your skin from burning on the walk to school. And snow pants always go on first, it’s the law.

Yes, it’s cold out there, but we can get through it together. As long as you SHUT THE DOOR.

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But I have snow tires

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That was a close call.

I know, but it worked out, didn’t it?

It didn’t have to happen at all if you were a better planner.

It wasn’t that big of a deal.

What?!

Well, ok, it was kind of a big deal.

You shouldn’t even have been out in that weather.

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To be fair, I do have snow tires.

(Sigh).

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There was an advisory to stay indoors unless absolutely necessary.

Well….

And you took the convertible?

What choice do I have? No arms. Or hands. 

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You could have been stranded for hours.

But I wasn’t.

fptales20140105-48You never told me why you were out. It must have been important.

Milk?

Batteries?

Diapers?

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Those are definitely all important.

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Bread?

Eggs?

Aspirin?

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No…

Bananas?

Cough Syrup?

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Coffee. It was coffee.

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This post was made possible by the very talented, Burrill Strong. Make yourself a cup of coffee, grab some M&Ms and take some time to check out his work at Burrill Strong Photography. You can also follow him on twitter.

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Whether or not you have snow tires, what would you risk the elements to do?