Inspired by real life events (everyone is fine) and the beloved series of books featuring animals with insatiable and irrational desires for things like donuts, pancakes, and muffins, I decided to try my hand as an author of children’s books. Here’s the working draft of my first manuscript. I might turn it into a play, I haven’t decided yet.
If a kindergartener sees an ambulance in the school parking lot, they will immediately jump to the most extreme scenario.
Kindie (spotting an amubulance through the classroom window). “Someone is dead.”
Me. No one died.
Second Kindie. Someone is DEAD?!
Me. No one is dead.
Third and Fourth Kindie (as they rush to the window). Who died?
Me. No one is dead. They are here to help a student and give them medicine.
First Kindie: Well, SOME people are dead.
Me. (exasperated look)
First Kindie (whispering, head down). Well, they ARE.
Me (more forcefully). The ambulance is hear because teachers did the right thing and called for help to make sure everyone is okay. It’ll be fine. Oh, look! See? There’s the student sitting up, they’re going to be fine. Firefighters, police, and ambulance drivers are our friends. It’s fine, but if you feel anxious or have some questions we can chat. BUT EVERYTHING IS FINE.
Second Kindie. One time I had to get stitches at the hospital. I was bleeding.
Third Kindie. Is the playdoh open?
Second Kindie. Joey picked his nose. I SAW him.
Fourth Kindie. So, who died?